It's over between me and Ryley, not my decision but what can I do about it? In the end it wasn't my decision to make and there's nowhere to go but forward from here. I'm not going to write about how much it hurts or the thoughts i can't get out of my head because that's just depressing for everyone and i'm not going to focus on the negative.

Here's some things i'm thinking positively about.

I'm ordering a pizza right now, I've been watching Greys Anatomy for a lot of the day and I'm going to go watch some hockey with the guys because maybe guys shouting about hockey will keep my mind off other things. Appearently they want to get'r done grad 26 style. we'll see what that means...

Tomorrow is the Santa parade in Sidney. I'm going to go with my friend Meghan and her boyfriend. yes I've already become a 3rd wheel. awsome! That will make me happy because Christmas is generally a happy time and I really like it.

The mountain opens up on thursday which happens to be one of my days off, so i'll be going up there and doing some snowboarding. My boards been in the shop getting waxed for 2 weeks now, im thinking someone forgot to pick it up because it doesnt usually take that long... anyways hopefully i'll get it back by thursday and hit the slopes. so excited! :)

My friends are coming back from school for christmas, all around the 22nd, so I'm more than excited about that. I havent seen these girls in months and i miss them all. There's going to be some good bonding sesh's when they get back for sure.

I'm thinking about moving to Calgary and going to University there, Ive been looking into some courses and i'd stay in res. I know a lot of people going to school there right now so it wouldn't be a big scary thing. actually it would. but it's time for change. Either that or I stay here and take courses at camosun. my work will cover $2500 of that so that's another good option... i'm going to think on that aswell.

This whole thing has kind of woken me up. i'm tired of being under-appreciated and in the end treated with disrespect. I'm going to step up, get fit again, eat good, look good, work hard, save money and do what i want to do.

I know this wasn't a very good break up post but who wants to write a break up post. So I kind of skipped over it...

edit: oh yea and it really is because of my parents i'm getting through this. i love them. they're helping :)